Ok this is for my senior project it was harshly turned down by my senior teacher he said I need to cite my sources which I dont get and also he called my paper an opinion paper? help? and my final draft is due tomorrow thank you.
Boxing,? ?often called? "?the manly art of self-defense,?" ?is a sport in which two competitors try to hit each other with their glove-encased fists while trying to avoid each other’s blows.? ?The competition is divided into a specified number of rounds,? ?usually? ?3? ?minutes long,? ?with? ?1-minute rest periods between rounds.? ?Although amateur boxing is widespread,? ?professional boxing has? ?spread on an even greater scale since the early? ?18th century
Boxing originated when a person first lifted a fist against another in play.? ?The ancient Greeks believed fist fighting was one of the games played by the gods on? ?Olympus so it became part of the Olympic Games in about? ?688? ?BC.? ?During Roman times the sport began to thrive on a wide scale.? ?Boxers fought with leather bands around their fists for protection and sometimes wore metal-filled,? ?leather hand coverings? ?which? ?resulted in bloody,? ?often duel-to-death,? ?battles.? ?In? ?1866? ?the Marques of Queensberry gave his support to a new set of rules,? ?which were named in his honor.? ?These rules limited the number of? ?3-minute rounds,? ?eliminated? ?grappling and wrestling,? ?and made the use of gloves mandatory.? ?Bare? ?knuckle? ?didn’t stop but it was certainly decreasing.? ?With the growing popularity of boxing,? ?especially in the? ?United States,? ?weight classes other than the unlimited heavyweights emerged.? ?These classes became popular as world championships were held at the new weights. Many doctors see boxing as an unacceptably dangerous sport? ?,? ?the British Medical Association? ?would? ?love? ?to see it banned.? ?But medical advisers? ?suggest if you have proper precautions that it is not much of a risk.? ?While boxing? ?has? ?fewer deaths than many other sports,? ?other sports don’t compare to the effects of brain damage that may go unrecorded in many boxers.? ?Cuts and bruises are the most common boxing injuries,? ?and many boxers leave the ring needing stitches to the face and dental work.? ?Body blows can lead to broken ribs and internal bleeding.? ?But,? ?as boxing involves powerful people hitting each other repeatedly,? ?often around the head,? ?there are other risks,? ?most serious of all being permanent severe brain damage.? ?While other injuries repair relatively easily,? ?brain tissue,? ?once damaged,? ?remains damaged.? ?The symptoms of such brain damage? ?commonly known as being? "?punch drunk?" ? include slurred speech,? ?slow reactions and even occasional blackouts.? ?Although there are bad things like this about boxing there all also good things.? ?Boxing can be one of the most beneficial contact sport experiences? ?a person goes through? ?in his? ? young adult lifetime.? ?It teaches a growing man? ?many things about himself,? ?and? ?about others,? ?at a point in his life where focus,? ?concentration and discipline are more important than ever before.? ?Even then,? ?in today’s grown male,? ?a controlled boxing? ?work out offers an? ?incredible? ?workout which offers benefits such as fat loss,? ?muscle gain,? ?strength,? ?reflex,? ?agility and motivation to strengthen in other areas through more repetition workouts.? ?Boxing could be easy for some people and hard for others.? ?With Boxing you need four primary limbs to function at the right time.? ?These are your arms and legs.? ?Before you start your training you need to wrap your hands with hand wraps:? ?After your finished wrapping your hand wraps you would proceed to use the jump rope.? ?After your done using the jump rope you could either hit the heavy bag or you might be nominated to spar that day which is to box another person but of friendly terms.? ?This is wear the handy Head Gear comes into play.? ?After your Head Gear is fitted properly you then need your mouth piece.? ?Than you need some Hand Wraps which are used to keep your hands safe
Some ideas for you, but first about citing your sources.
By this, your teacher is asking WHERE you got your background information about boxing from. A lot of the information you provided is CLEARLY not every day known info. If you used books, the Internet, newspapers, encyclopedias, etc., you need to acknowledge these sources by creating a bibliography / works cited page. You can do this in either APA or MLA style, depending on what your teacher wants — Google it if you don’t know either format.
As for your paper, I agree with your teacher that some of your paper is opinionated. An example would be: "Boxing can be one of the most beneficial contact sport experiences? ?a person goes through? ?in his? ? young adult lifetime." This is what YOU think is true — someone else may think a sport like tennis or soccer is most beneficial. In professional writing, opinions are looked down upon so you’ll have to rewrite some of your stuff to base it on only facts, unless your professor wants you to incorporate some personal view to the essay. Also try to reduce the number of sentences you have — some are way too short and choppy so join sentences when possible. A wider range of vocabulary would also be good — words like "hit" are too simple at the senior / university level.
Good luck!
[Answer: see above]
Some ideas for you, but first about citing your sources.
By this, your teacher is asking WHERE you got your background information about boxing from. A lot of the information you provided is CLEARLY not every day known info. If you used books, the Internet, newspapers, encyclopedias, etc., you need to acknowledge these sources by creating a bibliography / works cited page. You can do this in either APA or MLA style, depending on what your teacher wants — Google it if you don’t know either format.
As for your paper, I agree with your teacher that some of your paper is opinionated. An example would be: "Boxing can be one of the most beneficial contact sport experiences? ?a person goes through? ?in his? ? young adult lifetime." This is what YOU think is true — someone else may think a sport like tennis or soccer is most beneficial. In professional writing, opinions are looked down upon so you’ll have to rewrite some of your stuff to base it on only facts, unless your professor wants you to incorporate some personal view to the essay. Also try to reduce the number of sentences you have — some are way too short and choppy so join sentences when possible. A wider range of vocabulary would also be good — words like "hit" are too simple at the senior / university level.
Good luck!
[Answer: see above]
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